The Shopping Spiral

February 9, 2025

Lately I’ve been spiraling in the void of consumerism. I cannot seem to stop adding things to my cart and hitting the checkout button.

Part of it is me trying to self-comfort with material objects. Every day I look at the news and see more reasons to be upset. When I look at my family, I become even more upset. Many people close to me simply do not share the same morals that I do.

How do I handle them? How do I handle the situation as a whole? My impotent rage is assuaged, a little, if I know I have a shiny new item coming in the mail. Gross.

I think it’s also the fact that I am soon to return to the office. The past five years, I’ve lived in leggings and sweatshirts. It’s been great, though at times I’ve wished for more opportunities to get a little more dressed up.

I don’t necessarily need a lot of new clothes. I’m only returning two days a week (for now), and in the past my office was quite casual. I assume that will still be the case.

But I also see my office attire as an opportunity to announce that I am a full person who exists outside of work, to signify that my outside-of-work life is so much better than any perks they could ever hope to offer. To insist that I will not conform.

Ha. I never felt confident enough to fully express myself with fashion as a teenager, so maybe I am hoping to make up for lost time now. It's not just a phase, Mom.

So for that reason, I don't feel as bad about buying some new things. It's not so unreasonable to want your outward appearance to match your inner world, your identity.

In other news, I've been working on translating some things into Furbish. It's fun and hilarious and just the project I need to distract myself from the horrors of the world (and the shiny new things to buy). At some point, I hope to share some of my translations on this website.